Unleash Your Inner B.A.D.A.S.S — Changing the Negative Core Beliefs That Hold You Back
Introducing an official *unofficial* acronym for BADASS.
Since starting my blog, I have found that I pull inspiration from some of the strangest places—one of which is the TV show, The Office. I suspect the reason for this is that when I have trouble sleeping, I usually turn it on, put on my eye mask and proceed to be lulled to sleep by my favorite “friends” and characters (hot image, I know). Yes, I am aware that TV is not good for sleep hygiene, but we’re all human and imperfect, right? I’m working on it.
Anyway, I was watching—or, rather, listening to—a hilarious episode where Michael Scott (Steve Carell) throws an auction to raise money after an office robbery. He calls it C.R.I.M.E. A.I.D.
Obviously, this is ridiculous, and there is no reason to make “Crime Aid” into the complicated (and hilarious) acronym or backronym of Crime Reduces Innocence Makes Everyone Angry I Do Declare. However, it made me want one.
So, here is my acronym for BADASS:
B — body language
A — affirmations
D — dialectics
A — aspirations
S — sweat
S — serenity
B – Body Language
I start out with body language because I am big believer in power-posing. Power-posing is when we put our bodies in open, “powerful” positions to engender confidence. Not only does body language communicate our confidence (and badass-ness) to others, but the positioning itself empowers us and brings out the confidence needed. It’s like the concept of fake it till you make it, with your body language. And, more than that, power-posing can motivate us. It should be practiced every morning in the mirror. It looks something like this, but you can get creative with it!
A – Affirmations
Like power-posing, affirmations are a small behavioral change that can help us start to shift our way of thinking, as well as the ways in which we operate in the world. Affirmations are when we create a list of the qualities we have and those that we want, and repeat them out loud in the mirror or whenever possible. It starts to “trick” our brains into believing and manifesting, “I am smart,” “I am beautiful,” “I am a badass,” or whatever else is personally significant.
Simply put, we are what we tell ourselves, whether it’s true or not. If I tell myself “I am not good enough“ over and over, I will start to believe it, and it will trickle into all aspects of my life. Some of these thoughts are so ingrained and automatic that we don’t even realize what’s happening. At this point, the thoughts have become a part of our core belief system. This is why retraining ourselves is key. We are conditioning ourselves to go from one core belief system to another.
It might feel silly at first, but waking up and looking at yourself in the mirror each morning, putting your body in a powerful pose, and repeating your affirmations out loud will start to replace your distorted thoughts with more useful, positive ones. This new core belief system will become present in every aspect of your life, and start to change the way you view yourself and the world. So, these first two steps are crucial when unleashing and maintaining your inner badass.
D – Dialectics
Don’t run—I know this sounds really boring, but it’s awesome. All “dialectics” means is that multiple, seemingly conflicting things can exist at the same time, in the same plane. Just as the sun AND the moon can coexist in the sky, we can be both happy AND sad, both courageous AND afraid. I know this seems simple—and it is!—but so often, we label and pigeonhole ourselves into one category or another. If we aren’t perfect, then we have failed. If we aren’t the strongest, then we are weak.
There are so many layers to each of us, and when we label ourselves, we close ourselves off to so many possibilities. Instead, it’s better (and more accurate) to say, “I am not perfect AND I am good enough,” “I have weaknesses AND I am strong,” “I am in pain AND I am OK.” This subtle shift in language makes ALL the difference. All of a sudden, we have the ability to learn, grow, and change. We aren’t stuck in a box.
Note: Like the negative thoughts discussed above, this can happen so fast that we may not realize. The way to combat this is to check in and keep a record, making the thought patterns clear. After a bit of time, you will become skilled at catching yourself, so that you can reframe to the more reasonable, useful thought patterns. Here is a list of common cognitive distortions so that you know what to look for. In upcoming posts I will talk more about this, so stay tuned!
A – Aspirations
We cannot take our eyes off the prize. We aspire to be badasses (whatever that means to each of us). That’s a clear goal. Having goals in mind that are achievable give us hope and strength to push forward. However, we need to set a whole bunch of small targets on the path to the final destination, and even then, we need to maintain. No matter how small the goals, when achieved, it’s important to acknowledge and celebrate these victories. It will keep up our momentum.
S – Sweat
This is about heart. This is about fight. This is about endurance, patience, and maintenance. This is about struggle. This is about falling and falling and picking yourself up again and again. This isn’t just some little goal that we reach and move on. Shifting from one core belief system to another is a life change, and we don’t really have the choice to quit. We have one life, and it would be a shame to hold ourselves back from the success that we want and are capable of. And when we are challenged or take a hit, we need to push harder. We need to sweat it out. We’ve got this.
S – Serenity
This is the final stage when the body language, affirmations, dialectical thinking, aspirations, and sweat have become our truths. We have stopped giving a shit about what others think. We take action and speak our minds when necessary. We lay off and accept when necessary. We feel calm and capable, and comfortable in our own skin. We check in with our thoughts, use our skills, and feel in control. We know we are BADASSES in our cores, and we live it, breathe it, and maintain it in all areas of our lives.
Ok. Time to go to bed now (and dream about John Krasinski).