Take a Damn Compliment!
For a long time, I struggled with accepting compliments. If someone would say, “cute shirt,” or “nice job with that essay,” I would become bashful, and respond with something like, “Nah…this is old” or, “I could’ve done more with the conclusion.” For some reason, I felt inclined to deflect any praise, or I became uncomfortable. This type of rejection stretched beyond humility; this was flat out insecurity. And unfortunately, this kept me feeling insecure.
As I have written in previous posts about unleashing your inner BADASS and rejecting and reframing negative thoughts, we believe what we tell ourselves over and over. If I tell myself that I am smart, over time, I believe it. If I tell myself that I am weak, I believe that too. These narratives color our realities and become the lenses through which we see the world.
Each time we reject the positive feedback, we are feeding the negative messages we send ourselves. Accepting it does the opposite. Even if it is uncomfortable at first, allowing praise to be absorbed begins to factor into our core belief systems. It nourishes our feelings of self-worth.
Be careful, though. We don’t want to come to need validation from others to feel good about ourselves. This isn’t what I am talking about here. This is about accepting praise instead of rejecting it when it comes up. It’s not about fishing for compliments.
As we become empowered, our self-esteem builds, and our desire for validation diminishes. We are able to accept praise without hesitation. No one is perfect, though. We must check in with ourselves to determine our motivations. We must question whether or not we need validation to feel good, or if we just find it to be helpful in reinforcing the narrative we already know to be true.
So, the next time someone likes your hairdo or calls you a BADASS, do yourself a motherf*ing favor and say “thank you.”